The High Elf healer joined the party sometime before everyone realized she had joined the party.
There had been no announcement.
No dramatic oath.
No official vote.
She simply kept appearing.
At first, Luviana Starwhisper had been the healer they hired after an adventure went particularly badly.
Then she accompanied them on another.
Then another.
Eventually Jimmy started packing extra tea for her.
Jo started counting her when she counted friends.
Paul stopped asking whether she was coming.
And one morning Luviana arrived at breakfast, sat in her usual chair, and nobody thought this was unusual.
Which was generally how the party acquired people.
Luviana was beautiful.
This was obvious.
Tall and elegant, with pointed ears, graceful hands, and the irritating ability to look perfectly composed after sleeping outdoors.
She was also an excellent healer.
This was important.
Because if anyone described Luviana only as beautiful, she tended to smile in a way that made Paul nervous.
She could identify poisons by scent.
Recognize spell residue.
Read people frighteningly well.
Negotiate.
Scheme.
Fight when necessary.
And repair many of the injuries caused by Jo Mama believing the phrase probably fine constituted a safety assessment.
She was also an enthusiastic flirt.
This was where the trouble began.
Their assignment sounded simple.
Lord Malachar had taken possession of an abandoned fortress along the northern road.
Travelers had disappeared.
Livestock had been found drained of blood.
Two scouts sent to investigate had not returned.
The Paladin read the report twice.
“Vampire.”
Paul nodded.
“Probably.”
Jo brightened.
“Undead?”
“Probably.”
Jo looked delighted.
The Paladin looked concerned.
“You should not be excited about vampires.”
“Can bonk vampire.”
“You should not be excited about bonking vampires either.”
Jo thought.
“Can be responsibly excited?”
The Paladin considered.
“Yes.”
Jo pumped one fist.
“Responsible vampire bonk.”
Paul sighed.
The fortress gate was guarded by four armed men.
The party approached openly.
The captain stepped forward.
“No visitors.”
The Paladin raised a hand.
“We are investigating disappearances along the northern road.”
“No visitors.”
“We have authority from the magistrate.”
“No visitors.”
Paul leaned toward Ellie.
“Alternative entrance?”
“Probably.”
Jo looked at the wall.
“Could climb.”
Paul looked at her.
“We are trying diplomacy first.”
Jo nodded.
“Paladin diplomacy.”
The Paladin stepped forward again.
The captain folded his arms.
“Our orders are clear.”
Luviana touched the Paladin’s arm.
“May I?”
The Paladin hesitated.
“Diplomatically?”
Luviana smiled.
“Of course.”
Paul became concerned immediately.
Luviana stepped forward.
The guard captain straightened.
“Good evening.”
His voice changed.
Not much.
Enough.
Luviana smiled.
“Good evening.”
“We were told no visitors.”
“How unfortunate.”
The captain swallowed.
“We have orders.”
“I would never ask you to disobey your orders.”
Paul whispered:
“Good.”
Luviana continued:
“But surely a gentleman of your obvious authority has some discretion regarding how those orders are interpreted.”
Paul closed his eyes.
The captain adjusted his armor.
“Well.”
Luviana leaned slightly closer.
“We’ve traveled all day.”
“Yes.”
“And the road is terribly cold.”
“Yes.”
“And I would hate to think we came all this way only to discover that Lord Malachar employs men incapable of showing hospitality.”
The captain looked offended.
“Of course not.”
Luviana smiled.
“I didn’t think so.”
The gate opened.
Jo stared.
“Magic?”
“No,” Paul said.
Luviana walked past them.
Jo watched her.
“Elf magic.”
Luviana looked over her shoulder.
“Thank you.”
Paul sighed.
“That will only encourage her.”
“Lord Malachar is unavailable.”
Luviana smiled.
Paul whispered:
“No.”
The servant looked at her.
“Yes?”
Luviana stepped forward.
“We understand.”
Paul relaxed.
“We would never dream of disturbing him.”
Paul relaxed more.
“Perhaps you could help us instead.”
Paul stopped relaxing.
The servant straightened.
“With what?”
“Oh, nothing difficult.”
Luviana glanced around.
“Only a few questions.”
Ten minutes later, they knew:
Malachar slept during the day.
He never ate with the household.
The west tower was forbidden.
Three servants had disappeared.
A locked cellar existed beneath the chapel.
Malachar received shipments of sealed coffins twice a month.
And the servant’s name was Tomas.
Luviana touched his sleeve.
“You’ve been tremendously helpful, Tomas.”
Tomas blushed.
“Any time.”
Paul walked past.
“Please don’t say that.”
The Paladin caught up with Luviana.
“You were flirting with him.”
“Yes.”
“To obtain information.”
“Yes.”
“Was that honest?”
Luviana considered.
“I genuinely thought he was helpful.”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
Luviana smiled.
“I know.”
The Paladin frowned.
“Do you actually find every person you flirt with attractive?”
“No.”
“Then isn’t that misleading?”
Luviana stopped.
Her expression remained warm, but the teasing faded.
“I don’t promise affection I don’t feel.”
The Paladin listened.
“I don’t offer intimacy. I don’t imply commitments. I don’t make people believe they’re entitled to me because I smiled at them.”
The Paladin thought about that.
Luviana continued.
“I compliment. I charm. I tease. Sometimes because it’s useful. Sometimes because it’s fun. Sometimes because I mean every word.”
Jo leaned between them.
“How know which?”
Luviana smiled.
“If it matters, I tell them.”
Jo nodded.
“Good rule.”
The Paladin nodded too.
“Yes.”
Paul looked relieved.
“Excellent. Ethical framework established. Can we investigate the vampire now?”
They found the chapel.
The cellar door was locked.
Ellie crouched.
Everyone waited.
The GM placed a die in front of her.
Ellie stared at it.
“Why?”
The GM waited.
Ellie rolled.
2.
She looked at the die.
The die remained a two.
Ellie sighed.
Then opened the lock.
Click.
Jo grinned.
“Good rogue.”
Paul looked at the die.
Then at Ellie.
“Skill.”
Ellie smiled.
“Skill.”
They descended.
The cellar was colder than the fortress above.
Twelve coffins lined the walls.
Jo stopped.
“Twelve vampires?”
Paul looked at them.
“Possibly.”
Jo became responsibly excited.
The Paladin noticed.
“Stay calm.”
Jo whispered:
“Responsible.”
Jimmy examined one coffin.
“Good wood.”
“No,” said the Paladin.
“Didn’t touch.”
“Good.”
Luviana moved slowly between them.
She stopped.
“Wait.”
Everyone stopped.
She crouched beside the far wall.
A smear of blood marked the stone.
Not old.
Luviana touched it with two fingers.
Then looked toward the largest coffin.
“Someone’s alive.”
Jo moved.
Luviana caught her wrist.
“Carefully.”
Jo stopped immediately.
Ellie examined the coffin.
“No trap.”
They opened it.
A man lay inside.
Pale.
Barely breathing.
The missing scout.
The joking stopped.
Luviana was beside him instantly.
“Paul, light.”
Paul cast it.
“Paladin, support his head.”
The Paladin knelt.
“Jo, blanket.”
Jo looked at Jimmy.
Jimmy already had one.
Jo took it.
“Ellie, check the others.”
Ellie moved.
Luviana pressed two fingers against the scout’s throat.
His breathing hitched.
Her expression sharpened.
“Blood loss. Dehydration. Some kind of enchantment.”
Paul crouched beside her.
“Can you break it?”
“Yes.”
No flirt.
No teasing.
No smile.
Just certainty.
Divine light gathered between Luviana’s hands.
The scout gasped.
His eyes opened.
“Easy,” she said.
He tried to move.
“No. Stay still.”
“Others.”
“We’ll find them.”
“Eleven.”
Luviana looked at Ellie.
Ellie had opened another coffin.
Inside was a young woman.
Alive.
“Found one.”
Then another.
And another.
Not coffins.
Prison cells.
Eleven people.
Travelers.
Servants.
The second missing scout.
All alive.
Barely.
Luviana stood.
Her face had changed.
Jo knew that face.
Not the exact expression.
The meaning.
Bonk face.
Jo pointed toward the stairs.
“Vampire?”
Luviana nodded.
“Vampire.”
Jo smiled.
“Responsible bonk.”
Luviana picked up her staff.
“Extremely.”
The west tower was guarded by two men.
Jo rolled her shoulders.
The Paladin raised her shield.
Paul prepared a spell.
Luviana stepped forward.
Paul looked at her.
“Are you going to flirt with these too?”
“No.”
Paul blinked.
“Oh.”
Luviana looked at the guards.
Really looked.
Their hands trembled.
One kept glancing toward the tower door.
The other looked exhausted.
Luviana lowered her staff.
“You’re afraid of him.”
Neither answered.
“You don’t want to be here.”
The older guard swallowed.
“We have orders.”
“No.”
Luviana’s voice softened.
“You have threats.”
Silence.
She stepped closer.
“You know what’s beneath the chapel.”
The younger guard looked away.
“You know what he does.”
The older guard’s jaw tightened.
Luviana continued.
“We found them.”
Both guards looked at her.
“They’re alive.”
The younger one exhaled.
Luviana nodded toward the stairs.
“You can help us get them out.”
The older guard looked at Jo.
Jo smiled.
Then remembered smiling sometimes frightened people.
She stopped.
“Jo not eat people.”
Paul closed his eyes.
“We had moved beyond that.”
The guard almost laughed.
Almost.
Then he lowered his weapon.
The younger guard did the same.
“West stair,” the older man said. “He keeps the upper chamber locked during the day.”
Luviana nodded.
“Thank you.”
No flirtation.
No charm.
No trick.
Just the right thing said to frightened people at the right time.
Paul noticed.
So did the Paladin.
They climbed.
Lord Malachar was awake.
This was inconvenient.
He stood before a tall window in black velvet, pale and elegant and exactly as dramatic as a vampire named Lord Malachar had any right to be.
His eyes settled on Luviana first.
“An elf.”
Luviana looked around the chamber.
“Observant.”
His smile widened.
“You’re very beautiful.”
“So I’m told.”
Paul whispered:
“Don’t.”
Malachar stepped closer.
“You could remain here.”
“No.”
“You haven’t heard my offer.”
“I don’t need to.”
His eyes glowed.
The room changed.
Not physically.
Something pressed against the mind.
Warm.
Inviting.
Persuasive.
Paul staggered.
Ellie blinked hard.
Jimmy frowned.
The Paladin raised her holy symbol.
Malachar looked directly at Luviana.
“Stay.”
Luviana stared at him.
Then raised one eyebrow.
“Unimpressed.”
Malachar’s smile vanished.
Jo gasped.
“Elf immune flirt?”
Luviana did not look away from the vampire.
“No.”
She lifted her staff.
“I simply have standards.”
Paul made a noise that might have been a laugh.
Malachar hissed.
Luviana smiled.
“So are vampires.”
Then the room became violent.
The Paladin charged.
Malachar moved faster.
Paul fired a spell.
Ellie disappeared behind a column.
Jimmy threw something.
Paul never learned what.
Jo hit Malachar hard enough to crack the wall.
He recovered.
Too quickly.
“Rude,” Jo said.
Malachar slashed.
Jo blocked with her forearm.
Blood appeared.
Luviana’s spell struck him from the side.
Holy light filled the chamber.
Malachar screamed.
Jo looked at Luviana.
“HEALER BONK.”
“Focus.”
“GOOD BONK.”
The Paladin drove Malachar back.
Ellie’s dagger struck his shoulder.
Paul’s spell shattered the window.
Sunlight spilled across the floor.
Malachar recoiled.
Then dissolved into mist.
The mist fled through the broken window.
Jo ran to it.
“COME BACK.”
Paul grabbed her belt.
“No.”
“Vampire escaping!”
“Yes.”
“Jo jump?”
“NO.”
Jo looked down.
Very far down.
“Good no.”
The room went quiet.
Luviana was already moving toward Jo.
“Arm.”
Jo held it out.
The wound was bleeding heavily.
Luviana touched it.
Light closed the worst of the cut.
“Anyone else?”
The Paladin had a bruised shoulder.
Paul had been thrown into a chair.
Ellie had a cut across one hand.
Jimmy appeared unharmed.
Everyone looked at him.
“What?”
Paul frowned.
“How?”
Jimmy shrugged.
“Chair.”
Nobody knew what that meant.
Luviana looked toward the stairs.
“The prisoners.”
Jo pointed toward the window.
“Malachar.”
“Later.”
“But vampire-”
“People first.”
Jo stopped.
Then nodded.
“People first.”
Luviana headed downstairs.
Jo followed.
“Then bonk.”
Luviana smiled.
“Then bonk.”
They spent the next six hours getting eleven prisoners out of the fortress.
Luviana worked through all of it.
Healing.
Bandaging.
Checking pulses.
Mixing water with salts.
Keeping frightened people calm.
Giving instructions.
Correcting Paul when he tried to move someone too quickly.
Correcting Jo when she tried to carry three patients at once.
“Two.”
“Jo can carry three.”
“I know.”
“Then three.”
“Two.”
Jo considered.
Then carefully picked up two.
“Responsible carrying.”
“Exactly.”
By sunset, every prisoner was alive.
The two guards helped.
So did Tomas.
The gate captain pretended he had always intended to cooperate.
Paul allowed him this fiction because everyone was tired.
Luviana did not stop.
She checked the scout again.
Then the young woman.
Then a servant.
Then the second scout.
Then-
Jo sat beside her.
“Elf.”
Luviana looked up.
“Half-orc.”
“Sleep.”
“I will.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
Jo stared.
Luviana stared back.
Jo opened her arms.
“Trap hug.”
Luviana laughed.
“What?”
“Jo hug. Elf can’t work.”
“That is kidnapping.”
“Lawful rest.”
The Paladin called from across the room:
“It is not.”
Luviana smiled.
Then leaned against Jo anyway.
“Five minutes.”
Jo carefully wrapped an arm around her.
“Five.”
Luviana was asleep in thirty seconds.
Paul watched from nearby.
“She’s staying, isn’t she?”
The Paladin looked at him.
“Was there a question?”
Paul thought.
“No.”
Jimmy handed Jo a folded blanket.
Jo tucked it around Luviana.
Ellie sat nearby cleaning a dagger.
The party grew by one without anybody formally deciding it had.
“How long?”
Jo looked at Paul.
“Three hours,” he said.
Luviana sat up.
“You said five minutes.”
Jo shrugged.
“Jo bad numbers.”
Luviana stared.
Then laughed.
“Fair.”
They tracked Malachar to an abandoned crypt.
He was gone.
A hidden tunnel led beyond the hills.
But the crypt contained records.
Names.
Routes.
Other places he’d used.
They would find him eventually.
The Paladin closed the ledger.
“This isn’t over.”
Luviana nodded.
“No.”
Jo looked at her.
“You coming?”
Luviana raised an eyebrow.
“Where?”
Jo shrugged.
“Next thing.”
Luviana looked at the party.
Paul.
Ellie.
Jimmy.
The Paladin.
Jo.
Then smiled.
“I suppose someone has to keep you alive.”
Paul pointed.
“That is exactly what I said.”
Luviana linked her arm through his.
“And you’re very clever when you’re worried.”
Paul froze.
Jo gasped.
“FLIRT.”
Paul turned red.
Luviana smiled.
“Maybe.”
Paul pulled his arm free.
“Please stop seducing the encounters.”
Luviana looked innocent.
“You aren’t an encounter.”
Jo thought.
“Paul party.”
“Yes.”
“Can seduce party?”
Paul made a strangled noise.
The Paladin covered her face.
Ellie started laughing.
Jimmy looked confused.
Luviana smiled.
“Only if the party member is interested.”
Jo nodded solemnly.
“Consent.”
Luviana looked at her.
“Exactly.”
Jo beamed.
Paul walked away.
“Someone has to keep you alive.”
Actual reason:
Under investigation.
They followed Paul down the road.
Luviana walked beside the Paladin.
Ellie joined them.
Jimmy carried the supplies.
Jo brought up the rear.
After a while, she leaned toward Luviana.
“Elf.”
“Yes?”
“Do Paul again.”
Ahead of them, Paul shouted:
“I HEARD THAT.”
Luviana laughed.
Jo laughed.
The Paladin tried not to.
Ellie did not try at all.
And somewhere beyond the hills, Lord Malachar had absolutely no idea that escaping the party had only made him a recurring problem.