Paul had made mistakes before.
He preferred to call them experiments.
Jo Mama preferred to call them adventures.
The GM preferred to call them material.
This particular mistake began with six bandits, one overturned wagon, and a perfectly reasonable spell.
“Too many,” Madison said.
Jo looked around the boulder.
“Six.”
“Yes.”
“Not too many.”
“For talking,” Madison clarified.
“Oh.”
The bandits had blocked the narrow mountain road.
Behind them, a merchant wagon lay on its side.
Two merchants sat bound beside a tree.
The bandit leader paced nearby.
Paul studied the terrain.
Cliff to the left.
Steep drop to the right.
Narrow road.
Not enough space to surround the bandits.
Good.
He had an idea.
This should have frightened him more.
“I can make Jo bigger.”
Silence.
Jo slowly turned.
Paul immediately regretted the sentence.
“Bigger?”
“Yes.”
Jo’s eyes widened.
“Bigger like belt?”
Paul’s eyes widened for an entirely different reason.
“No.”
Jo looked slightly disappointed.
“Titanic?”
“Absolutely not. Controlled bigger.”
“How big?”
“Approximately twice your normal height.”
Jo’s disappointment vanished.
Madison looked at Paul.
“No.”
Paul frowned.
“What?”
“You cannot say that to her.”
“It’s a standard transmutation spell.”
“You said bigger.”
“Yes.”
“To Jo.”
Jo grabbed Paul’s shoulders.
“BIGGER JO.”
“Release the wizard.”
She did.
Immediately.
Then crouched to his height.
“Please.”
Paul blinked.
Jo clasped her hands.
“Please make bigger Jo.”
Paul looked at the bandits.
Then Jo.
Then the bandits.
“This is tactical.”
Jo nodded vigorously.
“Very tactical.”
“Temporary.”
“Yep.”
“You follow instructions.”
“Yep.”
“You do not attempt to determine whether being larger means you can throw me farther.”
Jo thought.
Paul pointed.
“Jo.”
“Won’t.”
“Good.”
Jo smiled.
“Unless ask.”
Paul paused.
Then nodded.
“Correct.”
Jo looked absurdly proud of herself.
“We should still offer surrender.”
Jo nodded.
“Before big?”
Paul considered.
“Yes.”
Jo walked around the boulder.
The bandits saw her.
Their leader raised his sword.
“Stay back!”
Jo stopped.
“Hi.”
The leader stared.
“We have hostages.”
“Yep.”
“One step closer and-”
The Paladin emerged.
“You can release them and leave.”
The bandits looked at her.
Then Paul.
Then Madison.
Then Luviana.
Then Jimmy.
Then Ellie-
Ellie was gone.
The leader looked nervous.
“Where’s the rogue?”
Paul smiled.
“Excellent question.”
A knife appeared against the rope binding the first merchant.
The rope fell.
The bandit leader swore.
The Paladin frowned.
“Language.”
He stared at her.
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
The leader raised his sword.
“No deal.”
Jo looked back at Paul.
“Now?”
Paul sighed.
“Now.”
He cast the spell.
Magic wrapped around Jo.
She grew.
Seven feet.
Nine.
Eleven.
Fourteen.
Her boots expanded.
Her clothes expanded.
Her grin somehow expanded more than either.
The bandits stared.
Jo looked down.
Very far down.
“HI.”
Three bandits dropped their weapons.
One ran.
One slowly lowered his sword.
The leader charged.
Jo watched him approach.
Then looked at the Paladin.
“What do?”
The Paladin blinked.
“Stop him.”
Jo reached down.
Picked the leader up by the back of his coat.
His legs continued running for approximately two seconds.
Then stopped.
Jo held him at eye level.
“Hi again.”
“PUT ME DOWN!”
Jo looked at the Paladin.
“Gently.”
Jo nodded.
“Gently.”
She lowered him to the road.
Ellie appeared behind him.
By the time his boots touched dirt, his wrists were tied.
Jo stared.
“Good rogue.”
Ellie smiled.
“Obviously.”
The remaining bandits surrendered.
The fleeing one made it approximately sixty yards before Madison called:
“Your friends surrendered!”
He stopped.
Looked back.
Looked at fourteen-foot Jo.
Then walked back with his hands raised.
Jo waved.
“Good choice.”
After the merchants were free, Paul expected Jo to ask whether she could pick up a tree.
She did.
“No.”
“Climb big tree?”
“No.”
“Carry everybody?”
“No.”
“Hug?”
“Absolutely not while you are fourteen feet tall.”
Jo sighed.
Then looked at the overturned wagon.
“Can fix?”
Paul looked at it.
“Yes.”
Jo brightened.
She crouched beside the wagon.
The merchants backed away.
“Careful,” Paul said.
“Yep.”
Jo lifted.
Slowly.
The wagon rose.
Jimmy and Ellie reset the damaged wheel.
The Paladin braced the axle.
Madison directed the merchants.
Luviana checked everyone for injuries.
Paul watched Jo.
She could have thrown the wagon.
She could have lifted it over her head.
She could have done several things Paul would have regretted teaching her were physically possible.
Instead she held it exactly where they needed it.
“Little left,” Jimmy said.
Jo moved it.
“Stop.”
She stopped.
“Down.”
She lowered it.
The wagon settled onto its wheels.
Jo smiled.
“Big useful.”
“Yes,” Paul said.
Then Jo sneezed.
It was not a normal sneeze.
Fourteen feet of half-orc produced a sound like a siege engine discovering allergies.
AH-CHOOOO!
Birds exploded from three nearby trees.
The horses panicked.
Paul fell backward.
Jo blinked.
“Sorry.”
Madison stared.
Luviana covered her mouth.
Ellie was already laughing.
The Paladin calmed the horses.
Jimmy looked toward the trees.
“Birds gone.”
Paul stood.
“Yes, Jimmy.”
“Very gone.”
“Thank you.”
The spell began to flicker.
Paul saw it.
“Jo.”
She looked down.
“Spell ending. Put the wagon brace down. Now.”
Jo immediately did.
No argument.
No joke.
No delay.
She stepped away from everyone.
Then shrank.
Fourteen feet.
Twelve.
Ten.
Seven.
Jo looked down at herself.
“Aw.”
Paul exhaled.
“Normal Jo.”
Jo flexed.
“Do again?”
“No.”
“Later?”
“Maybe.”
“Tactical?”
“Yes.”
Jo nodded.
“Okay.”
Paul paused.
Again, he had expected an argument.
Again, there wasn’t one.
That evening they reached a small town holding a harvest carnival.
Jo found the strength challenge immediately.
Of course she did.
A painted sign read:
RING THE BELL!
PROVE YOUR STRENGTH!
WIN A PRIZE!
Jo stared at Paul.
“No magic.”
“Didn’t ask.”
“You were thinking it.”
“Can’t prove.”
Madison looked at the enormous hammer.
Then Jo.
“This seems unfair already.”
Jo paid the attendant.
She picked up the hammer.
The attendant smiled.
“Three tries.”
Jo swung once.
BANG.
The weight shot upward.
Hit the bell.
The bell detached from its frame.
Everyone watched it land in a hay bale.
Silence.
Jo lowered the hammer.
“Won?”
The attendant stared.
Then slowly handed her the largest prize available.
A stuffed purple dragon.
Jo hugged it.
Carefully.
“Dragon.”
Paul looked at the destroyed bell.
“You did that at normal size.”
Jo looked at him.
“Yep.”
“No magic.”
“Nope.”
Paul smiled.
“Normal Jo was enough.”
Jo’s expression changed.
Only slightly.
But Madison noticed.
Luviana noticed.
Paul definitely noticed.
Jo hugged the dragon a little closer.
“Yep.”
That night, everyone sat around a table at the inn.
The stuffed dragon occupied its own chair.
Madison objected.
Nobody listened.
“So,” Madison said.
Paul looked suspicious.
“So?”
“The spell.”
“No.”
“I haven’t asked anything.”
“You’re going to.”
Madison smiled.
“Could you make me taller?”
Paul stared.
Luviana laughed.
The Paladin looked interested despite herself.
Ellie leaned forward.
Jimmy looked at his own hands.
Paul stood.
“No.”
Jo pointed.
“BIG PARTY.”
“No.”
“Everybody big.”
“No.”
“Big Jimmy bag.”
“THAT IS NOT HOW THE SPELL WORKS.”
Luviana sipped her tea.
“Could you make someone smaller?”
Paul stopped.
Jo stopped.
Everyone stopped.
Paul looked at Luviana.
“Yes.”
Jo’s eyes widened.
“No.”
Paul slowly smiled.
Jo backed away.
“Paul.”
“Interesting.”
“Paul.”
“You’ve been asking me to enlarge you all day.”
“Big good.”
“Small could also be tactically useful.”
Jo looked horrified.
“Pocket Jo.”
Jimmy looked at his bag.
The Paladin immediately pointed at him.
“No.”
Jimmy looked away.
Paul sat back down.
“Relax. I won’t cast it without a reason.”
Jo narrowed her eyes.
“And ask?”
Paul paused.
Then nodded.
“And ask.”
Jo relaxed.
“Good.”
Madison watched the exchange.
Small.
Easy.
Almost automatic.
A question.
An answer.
A boundary remembered.
She smiled.
Jo noticed.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Jo narrowed her eyes.
“Bard thing?”
“Bard thing.”
Jo accepted this.
Later, Paul sat downstairs reading.
Jo appeared carrying two mugs.
She set one beside him.
“Tea.”
Paul looked inside.
“Is this actually tea?”
“Yep.”
“No mysterious potion?”
“Nope.”
“No experimental ingredient?”
“Nope.”
Paul took a sip.
It was tea.
“Thank you.”
Jo sat across from him.
The stuffed dragon occupied the chair beside her.
“Paul.”
“Yes?”
“Big Jo was good?”
Paul closed his book.
“You were useful before I enlarged you.”
Jo looked down at the table.
“Know.”
Paul watched her.
She clearly did not.
“You found the merchant tracks.”
Jo looked up.
“You helped fix the wagon.”
“Big Jo.”
“You obeyed when I told you to put it down before the spell ended.”
Jo shrugged.
“You waited for the Paladin before dealing with the bandit leader.”
Another shrug.
“You asked before I cast the spell.”
Jo looked at him.
Paul continued.
“The magic made you larger.”
He tapped the table.
“It didn’t make you better.”
Jo was quiet.
Then:
“Made sneeze better.”
Paul laughed.
“Yes.”
“Very big sneeze.”
“Terrifying sneeze.”
Jo smiled.
“Paul scared.”
“Everyone was scared.”
“Birds most.”
“Definitely birds.”
Jo looked at the stuffed dragon.
Then back at him.
“Still do again?”
Paul sighed.
“Yes.”
Jo brightened.
“When tactically appropriate.”
“Yep.”
“And when I agree.”
“Yep.”
“And you follow instructions.”
“Yep.”
“And no experimenting with how far you can throw me.”
Jo paused.
Paul raised an eyebrow.
Jo sighed.
“Yep.”
“Good.”
Jo held out her hand.
Paul looked at it.
“Handshake.”
He shook it.
Jo was extremely careful.
“Deal.”
For almost an hour, nobody mentioned size-changing magic.
Then Jimmy spoke.
“Paul.”
Paul sighed.
“What?”
“Could make bag bigger?”
“No.”
Jimmy nodded.
“Worth asking.”
Jo looked at Paul.
“Could make sandwich bigger?”
Paul stopped walking.
Everyone stopped.
Paul stared into the distance.
Jo waited.
Luviana waited.
Ellie waited.
Madison waited.
The Paladin waited.
Jimmy looked genuinely interested.
Paul slowly turned.
“That…”
Jo leaned closer.
“…might actually work.”
Jo’s face transformed.
“BIG SANDWICH.”
Paul pointed.
“We are not wasting second-level spell slots on lunch.”
“BIG SANDWICH.”
“No.”
“TACTICAL SANDWICH.”
“No.”
“EMERGENCY BIG SANDWICH.”
“No.”
Jo followed him down the road.
“Paul.”
“No.”
“Paul.”
“No.”
“Paul.”
“No.”
Madison took out her notebook.
At the top of a fresh page she wrote:
THINGS I DID NOT EXPECT TO REQUIRE OFFICIAL POLICY
Then underneath:
1. Chandelier acquisition.
2. Emergency boat command.
3. Tactical sandwiches.
She looked up.
Jo was still negotiating.
Paul was still refusing.
Jimmy had started making measurements.
Luviana was laughing.
Ellie was taking bets.
The Paladin was trying to determine whether magically enlarging food violated any known health regulations.
Madison smiled.
Then she added one more line.
4. Everything, apparently.